Before I launch into what and where I want to be in 2020 - I want to give a little context.
Often people who have never lived in the United States , who live in countries that are "poor" in material wealth imagine how wonderful life would be if they were to have if they lived in the U.S. Often people who have struggled to get into the U.S. are surprised by how the lifestyle feels empty to them - empty and lonely and "cold." In my travels in Africa, and my discussions with friends who grew up in Africa and South America and China, India, Pakistan and so on, one theme comes up repeatedly, that is - their social life is rich with positive and regular interactions with friends and family. When they get there they say how difficult it is to have the same sort of close relationships or community that they took for granted in their own home country. And I have to nod and agree, it is naturally difficult to develop the same sort of friendships and social intimacy in a country that encourages the pursuit of individualism and ambition for material goods to the point that people come second, third or who knows where in one's personal priorities. The most prized social relationship in the U.S. is one's significant other, and even that is not terribly valued as many people are constantly in search of a human upgrade of their present "beloved." People have become objects here.
Right now, I am writing in a cafe by myself in a new city, where I don't know that many people yet. I am remembering times in my life where I have had a full social life in the U.S., but most often that has been as a result of being involved in an activity or in school where like minds came together to work on common goals. The silver-lining to all this is that - in the U.S. one has the opportunity to "make" a communal family out of people who do not share the same blood but same minds, spirits,and hearts. This opportunity mainly exists in the cities and in public educational institutions.
Concerning all this - a certain thought keeps coming to mind that human beings - even though Western thought has tried to negate this - are pack-like animals ... but this doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing .... from the beginning of time humans, due to their initial physical vulnerability have created groups of association and survival clans, tribes, guilds, unions,corporation on up to nations . This obvious historical reality is something we can't deny no matter how much our ego desires individuality and elitist separation ... and note the desire for excellence can be a separation - this is why certain cultures downplay the goal of individual excellence while encouraging communal excellence.
Not that I think personal excellence is a bad thing to pursue, but rather that I notice that it has its tradeoffs. And one of the main tradeoffs is mental, emotional and spiritual health. If someone is unhappy in the U.S. it is mainly because they don't have enough of that thing called "love" in their life, and this doesn't necessarily mean romantic love, although some think it does. For instance, for me to pursue personal excellence pursuing design and architecture in my present program - I have to spend a wh*** hell of a lot of time by myself, and have little time to spend with friends or family. This bums me out, I know I am making a sacrifice, somewhat similar to people who leave their families and people overseas to come here alone ... it is ambition for a "better life" of some kind.
The better life I see for myself in 10 years - is where I co-create a design-related business that not only serves local communities but beyond, but most importantly creates a nurturing culture within the business operation. Not in the fake way of hyping up morale with motivational games so we can have better sales or production ... but in the basic ways people have created community since the beginning of time - sharing, listening, working together, and being open and compassionate, understanding, and patience.
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