Evokation Hajj for Humanity

Comment by Wintermute on May 10, 2010 at 9:50pm

very exciting, is this the formal evokation?

Comment by Patricio Buenrostro-Gilhuys on May 12, 2010 at 7:47am

Great Evokation!!! Very complete!!!

Comment by Ternura Rojas on May 13, 2010 at 4:40pm

Same question as W. do you need help with this? I owe you one ;-)

Comment by Michele Baron on May 14, 2010 at 2:38am

Hi all, and thank you for your comments. I welcome any and all help. this evokation is going to require many great minds and hearts to succeed.

Comment by Ternura Rojas on May 14, 2010 at 5:50pm

Hello Michele I see that you already have a sort of introduction in the first paragraph (the place) So why not jump out and place a proper pitch at the top?
Remember job-hunting rules: you normally have less than 20 secs to grab the attention -and empathy- of the reader.
I would write something like:
“This Evokation consists of a humanitarian project, focusing on philanthropic/work projects for disadvantaged and underserved populations primarily located in Muslim-majority communities.
During the Hajj, Muslims of all races, creeds and politics set aside cultural differences to participate in a pilgrimage of international tolerance and peace. In this spirit, and perhaps scheduled to coincide with the completion of the annual Hajj pilgrimage, the "Hajj for Humanity" program will seek to create neo-lateral (citizen-to-citizen) projects to communicate with community leaders and citizens.
Hajj for Humanity volunteers would then assemble, assist and enable sponsors, trainers and specialists from neighboring and near-by Muslim and non-Muslim communities to confer with local leaders, and work together to train participants to learn specific skills and establish holistic and sustainable solutions to prioritized challenges”
I would put everything in larger font, soecially the intro, and also highlight in bold the most important words or ideas.
I will keep my comment about the burka for myself ;-)

> About: “The Place” where Hajj for Humanity will operate is anywhere Bottom-of-the-Pyramid, or at-risk communities face challenges to what the U.N. called “universal” human rights----I would add: does the organization have headquaerters? Where? In US, is my guess.
> If you have something palpable already, it would be a good idea to tell, and if you have a group of volunteers or employees it would also be a good idea to say.
> My guess is that the WBI is eager to help projects which look like they only need the final push to launch.

Comment by Bongumusa on May 14, 2010 at 6:19pm

great work. pls where is the approach plan? good work

Comment by Michele Baron on May 14, 2010 at 7:37pm

@ ternura, thank you for your input. I will edit in as soon as return from school. @ Bongamusa, hi, great to see you!!! Please clarify "approach plan" -- do you mean initial country/community of activity? I have several in mind, but have found that forming the foundation necessary for Hajj for Humanity is such a large task (beyond the simple step of forming a 501C, housing at least the headquarters in the US, where I am), that I actually want to wait until I have a fully functional Board in place before choosing a site. Especially since most of Hajj for Humanity activities will involve at least 2 nations. I would appreciate any additional input; for example, if you have a key community in mind, i would be glad to include it in the planning doc**entation.
thank you all for your inputs. good evoking

Comment by Ternura Rojas on May 14, 2010 at 8:10pm

@Michele: great news that you do not have a site yet. Please do not forget to add that for the initial stage you will not incurre in expenses for infraestructure!
Do you happen to have a site or some way to recruit Hajj Volunteers?
Well I leave you, it's tiem to bed for me. I will be around during the weekend. See you X, T

Comment by cameron michael keys on May 14, 2010 at 9:18pm

perhaps you can convince some mullas, muftis, or sheikhs to issue a fatwa calling for citizens to embark on a Hajj for Humanity. in these cultures such an endorsement would be a very big deal.

Comment by Michele Baron on May 15, 2010 at 4:37am

@ternura, yes, I will be around on weekend as possible to work on this and comment/assist with others' posts... @cameron, i appreciate your input. I do hope to receive support of this type, and am exploring options available in this direction... It could make a huge difference. thank you all very much for your replies.

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