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Five principle bulwarks against denial


- Legitimize fear. People go into denial because they don't feel entitled to be afraid. The more entitled people feel to be afraid, the less likely they are to go into denial. This is why the message, "Don't be afraid," is a very destructive message in serious circ**stances. Much superior is the message, "Well, of course, you're afraid, I'm afraid too. We're all afraid. We'll get through this together."

- Things to do. It's not that if you have things to do you are less afraid; it's that if you have things to do you are better able to bear your fear. The military understands this very well. It tries to keep soldiers busy so that they can tolerate their fear.
- Things to decide. Whenever possible, offer people menus of things to do so they have opportunities to decide what they want to do and what they don't want to do. This makes them less likely to go with the denial, because it makes them more able to bear their fear.
- Love. Anyone who has had the experience of loving knows that we are much better able to bear fear on behalf of those we love than on our own behalf. The military knows well that soldiers don't fight for their country, they fight for their buddies. Again, it's not that loving makes you less afraid, it's that loving makes you more able to bear your fear.
- Hate. This is the more controversial bulwark. Having somebody you hate, or maybe a virus you hate, can enable you to bear your fear and hang in there without tripping the circuit breaker into denial.

Fear is a solution, not the problem. It simply makes no sense to say, "I want you to take precautions, but I don't want you to be afraid."

http://www.nieman.harvard.edu/Microsites/NiemanGuideToCoveringPande...

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