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Letting go of power
My daughter is twelve today. Twelve, I suspect, is going to be a lot like eleven, but more so.
When she was 11, sometimes my little girl was happy being a little girl - a playful kid in the full throw of silliness and wonder. But, more and more often, I've started to see a more self-aware and self-conscious young person. She's like that today. And she's not distraught at all that her mother was not able to bake cupcakes for her birthday.
But I feel like I'm a "bad mom" for waiting until the morning of her birthday to bake the days treats. What was I thinking? I should have played it safe and baked them yesterday when I had the chance. But no, I took a risk and today, of all days, the grid is down and so the family and a half-dozen girls are hunkered around tables, illuminated by candle and batterylight. We're not waiting for The Grid to come back up to have our fun.
Its funny. When I grew up, we used to sometimes call electricity, "the hydro" because the utility responsible for electricity was called Ontario Hydro - even though water was only responsible for about a quarter of the electricity it produced. It just sounded cleaner.
At least "The Grid" is more honest. There are lots of different sources of energy feeding into the electrical network. Its still strange to me to pay for wind energy that is put into the grid far away from where I use energy, but electrons are electrons and there's no reason to be possessive over the particular ones I pay for.
There may not be cake or cupcakes for her birthday but we can't not have candles. As my not so little girls blows them out, the Grid returns. We all sit blinking under the glare of the relatively bright lights of the living room, until my not so little boy does a very good thing, and turns them lights off.
When she was 11, sometimes my little girl was happy being a little girl - a playful kid in the full throw of silliness and wonder. But, more and more often, I've started to see a more self-aware and self-conscious young person. She's like that today. And she's not distraught at all that her mother was not able to bake cupcakes for her birthday.
But I feel like I'm a "bad mom" for waiting until the morning of her birthday to bake the days treats. What was I thinking? I should have played it safe and baked them yesterday when I had the chance. But no, I took a risk and today, of all days, the grid is down and so the family and a half-dozen girls are hunkered around tables, illuminated by candle and batterylight. We're not waiting for The Grid to come back up to have our fun.
Its funny. When I grew up, we used to sometimes call electricity, "the hydro" because the utility responsible for electricity was called Ontario Hydro - even though water was only responsible for about a quarter of the electricity it produced. It just sounded cleaner.
At least "The Grid" is more honest. There are lots of different sources of energy feeding into the electrical network. Its still strange to me to pay for wind energy that is put into the grid far away from where I use energy, but electrons are electrons and there's no reason to be possessive over the particular ones I pay for.
There may not be cake or cupcakes for her birthday but we can't not have candles. As my not so little girls blows them out, the Grid returns. We all sit blinking under the glare of the relatively bright lights of the living room, until my not so little boy does a very good thing, and turns them lights off.
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