For the 30+ years of empowerment work I have amassed in these adventures, there are many days where I still succ**b to feelings of powerlessness.
I let the little thing get to me.
Some detail is missed, a mistake made.
I forget to embrace the beauty of this present moment.
Love does not always rule when I get distracted.
Becoming an agent of change there is a forging process, like working metal with fire. There are some serious dings and dents, stretching and heating up moments to work with difficult material.
Today my alchemy is breathing, drinking water, caring for myself, taking time to absorb as many of you as I can in the next few days. Exploring as many of your evokations as I can.
My name has been Evo because my dad saw a woman named Evonne that ruled tennis with an iron fist. I suck at tennis but slammed well in volleyball. Now contemplating aikido as a martial art and practice to strengthen my core and defensive skills.
How do you break through your walls? When the ghosts and goblins and succubi come after you what does your refuge look like?
The smiles and hugs from those we love are usually all the encouragement we need.
Sometimes, it may take a little extra, however, and for those occasions I go on a John Stewart + Stephen Colbert binge. :p
And Roll with laughter.
Personaly, I smile. I remind myself my powers, my family, the things and people that importent to me. I remind myself that I believe in me and in the power of the human spirit.
Their's a song in hebrew that reminds exactly that.
"all things come to pass"
the feeling of powerlessness too
smile. you are doing so much
you have made a difference to my life at least
The world told me I didn't deserve what I needed most, the love of my husband. I declared that I no longer wanted to live in a world that believed this. I tried to die. I asked the universe to let me die. I walked and walked and walked until I came to the edge of the ocean and the land and the sky and waited to die. And while I was there, in the cold and dark, next to the glittering waves crashing on the shore, the universe said to me, "I still need you. You're still an important part of this world. I know it's not easy, but I need you here, alive, to do something." The universe gave me what I needed that night, and the next morning I woke up to the sun, and the light, and walked, and walked, and walked back to where I was staying, and, while none of the folks who lived in the place I was staying had missed me while I was gone on my walkabout, it didn't matter, because I knew that it wasn't the humans I'm here for, it's the wh*** planet herself who wants me here and appreciates me and needs me to continue doing my work.
I feel refuge to be my ghost'n'goblin, and so it's been until for the first time in my life I decided not to take refuge. =) In this very moment of my life my strategy to break through my walls is a red nose and me running/dancing/singing/shouting/playing/laughing on the streets to meet people's souls, to give and receive love, to remind them that they can break their walls whenever they want, being an evidence of it. =)
Thank you, Evo, for sharing these thoughts and feelings, I'd love to see you slamming in lifeball, would you please make a video next time? =)
"Love does not always rule when I get distracted."
The person I consider one of my best masters of life would have probably told me: "design your attention in a way that only Love can distract you" =)