Urgent Evoke

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Men for Gender Equality works to end violence against women

http://www.unmultimedia.org/radio/english/detail/92481.html


The UN Secretary-General's UNiTE to End Violence against Women Campaign encourages men to become part of the solution, by confronting negative stereotypes that perpetuate this kind of violence. During the recent meeting of the Commission on the Status of Women, Bissera Kostova spoke to Klas Hyllander, Secretary-General of Men for Gender Equality in Sweden, who told her that he left his job as an engineer to work on gender equality, after a friend of his sensitized him to its importance for both women and men.


Hyllander: She made me aware of how I and other men, in different situations could subordinate women, but she also, for instance I remember she asked me quite early why I was afraid so often and as a man I kind of was used to saying I'm never afraid, so I don't know what you mean, but through our discussion I started to understand she was right. I was afraid in many social contexts where I felt I had to act in certain ways. And it just made me aware that I had a lot of, you know, feelings about how to act and behave and how to set up a façade at certain times and not showing weakness. So the problems she made me aware of were both, you know, things related to the relationships between women and men, but also problems that men run across, vulnerabilities around men and things that make men feel bad many times, but we're not really aware of it, because we're the norm.


Kostova: Speaking of men's vulnerabilities, they say that now with the financial crisis and men's unemployment, that domestic violence is rising. How do you explain that?

Hyllander: Men are socialized, boys are socialized to believe that our self-esteem is built into being breadwinners and identifying with our work, and what can happen when we see a lot of men lose work is that they feel ashamed, they feel shamed by not being able to fulfill the role that they have been socialized to have and that situation seems to trigger violence more often than in the case when men are, so to speak, able to live the type of life that they think they should have. And it's interesting to see that unemployment doesn't create the same behavior with women, and that has to do with how we have been socialized in different ways according to the gendered society. So you would have to go on and look at other you know, beliefs also that men have the right to use violence and men have the right to control women, and act out violence, so it's a more complex equation.

Views: 37

Comment by A.V.Koshy on April 12, 2010 at 5:51pm
Well, since I am the only one to comment on here let me say that I agree with finding teh vulnerability in my masculinity but wonder what you think of metrosexuality?
Comment by Michael Texeira on April 12, 2010 at 6:05pm
currently exploring sexual dynamics and roles in my relationship with my wife. there is a lot of negotiation. we both fall into manipulation and roles. we both fall...period. but at the same time, we are able to see the effects of our actions mirrored in each other, and we're both learning a lot of compassion for the other sex.

at first she was hurt when I would look at beautiful women, but she is beginning to understand that in many ways, its unconscious, and it is not an insult. at first, I thought I had done something wrong when she would cry out of the blue, but I am beginning to understand that she is just an emotional being who is letting go of whatever she needs to let go of. we give each other permission to be ourselves, and support in exploring exactly what that means. I count myself as lucky.
Comment by Sean Gill on April 12, 2010 at 6:35pm
This doesn't directly address the issue of violence against women by men, but I think it puts the idea of power and power struggles into a larger framework that may illustrate why it happens.

The 4th Insight from the Celestine Prophecies talks about the struggle between people for energy and leads to power struggles. "An unconscious competition for energy underlies all conflicts. By dominating or manipulating others, we get the extra energy we think we need. Sure, it feels good - but both parties are damaged in the conflict."

What this says and why I think it relates to the question you are posing, especially in regards to violence rates rising during times of higher unemployment, is that all people, men and women, have a need for energy and appreciation and the feeling that they are contributing, but when they can't get that feeling from their own means, they will try to siphon it from others. For centuries, men have felt they are superior and that women are inferior - not a belief I subscribe to, mind you - but for many men, this is true. Therefore, with that underlying mindset, in addition to the feeling that their self worth has been taken away by not being able to work or be productive and be the "bread winner" that societal norms "require", some men resort to getting the energy they need and want by taking it from women and that may take the form of violence.

I don't condone this action and I am not defending the men who do it - far from it - but when we look at this need for energy and power, we can see how this not only applies to violence against women, but also to global issued and wars.

The truth is that we can all tap into an unlimited universal energy source that is self fulfilling without having to take it from others. The problem is it takes an awareness of one's self and of how you live your life and looking at this truth, this mirror of yourself, can be very difficult and for some, the truth can hurt. Therefore, based on the Pleasure Principle, people will resort to the easiest method of fulfilling their needs... in this case, violence against women.

These are not easy problems... If this is your passion, Sarah, pursue it. Understand the problem and you can help fix it, or rather... Evoke it.
Comment by Prince Devison Nze on April 12, 2010 at 10:41pm
I am in total agreement with you Sarah. I believe that it is only through a gender lens that the society will appreciate the reality of equality in the world of power struggle and equal potential. Lets think more about it.
Comment by Michele Baron on April 14, 2010 at 3:02am
interesting post. it seems in many places that laws specifically give males (parent, brother, husband) dominance over dependent female(s) in their sphere. while laws thus protect a possible aggressor, and treat punitively the probable victim, there can be no equality, no true justice. The definition of justice in such a system allows scales to tip unequally. It is a very difficult problem. Thank you for bringing it up here.

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