Urgent Evoke

A crash course in changing the world.

I really stepped back this week and since folks are still finding me and adding comments to my posts and friending me and sending me messages, I figured I should touch base and let folks know what I am thinking at the moment.

I've *really* stepped back in the last week -- for lots of reasons.

One, I needed to step up my attention to responsibilities at home; the everyday responsibilities were being neglected a bit and I needed to rectify that after 2 intense weeks here on-line.

Two, I was starting to feel overwhelmed with this "game" -- the steady influx of new agents who needed the same reminders, and encouragement and connection. I didn't know how to prioritize and I wanted to focus on African Agents but was having difficulty finding them....

Three, I did not feel like I had a meaningful contribution on the power mission -- folks who understood the "hows" of this much better than I were doing a fine job of researching and brainstorming and sharing their thoughts and I did not want to submit posts as "busywork" just to meet the letter but not the spirit of the challenge.

Four, I decided to put some of the energy I had spent here, seeing if I could help the SEED EVOKATION off the ground and did some on-line work and research for that project that is not reflected here.

And, finally, five: and -- i hate to admit -- I was starting to feel a nascent cynicism and criticism about some of it.

All the research I had done [and that others were sharing] kept proving to me that there already are hundreds of fabulous ideas, solutions, projects, incubators at work in the world. I am just not certain starting NEW ones is necessary. I think effort should be galvanized around successful endeavors already in progress. I just can't help thinking that that's a better use of limited resources and energy.

Add to that the burgeoning "politicing" and unpleasantness around gamesmanship and competition... well, I decided to step back a bit.

I haven't quit yet. I am interested to see what the next missions spark. I still would like to make a contribution. I am slowly trying to get through all the messages folks have sent me. I just need to so this all on my terms. And to ensure it stays a meaningful and authentic experience for me with the potential for real world impact on some levels.

Thanks to Jen Schaffer, whose comment to me on what of my posts sparked this...
Please no power pts on this. But feel free to comment if you are inclined...

Views: 19

Comment by Starling on March 24, 2010 at 5:42pm
Ah I was going to give you a +1 courage for getting this clarity!
Comment by Nick Heyming on March 24, 2010 at 5:45pm
Great points, I couldn't agree more about rallying existing organizations. Thats why I'm not so jazzed about SEED anymore, and am hoping that the Global Gratitude Garden Evokation I'm working on will encourage people to seek out groups already at work in their areas and integrate living food banks and traditional ways into their efforts.
Comment by MichalHuller on March 24, 2010 at 6:38pm
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I'm glad you are still here.
There are times when we stay back for a while, and you'r right, there is so much information to read and seek, sometimes it's hard for me too.
Comment by uzoma judith katchy on March 24, 2010 at 7:15pm
GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
Comment by Crystal Bellar on March 25, 2010 at 5:02am
Ayala, your contribuations to SEED have been greatly appreciated! And boy do I understand the steeping back a bit, after an ER visit, missing 2 days of work, school and general- hey I'm in a relationship lol- I really have had to balence things a little better.

I REALLY think a part of SEED is connecting. People's experiences, hope and resources can be networked, utilized and improved. Different approaches though- accomplish different things and effect different people. I find this really true working in Social Work- some types of therapy just don't work for one person, and having 10 organizations all focused on the same type problem, helps to make sure that every individual can get effective help.

There is a balence starting new things. I believe no new project should ever, ever be an island of its own. There is far to much information out there, are far to many focuses and individual differences that one organization to do everything, and to do everything right.

You have been lovely, helpful and inspiring. Take the time you need for you, take the time you want for others.

See you around! :)
Comment by John D. Boyden on May 12, 2010 at 11:03pm
Wise thoughts expressed in this post :)

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